If there is anything that a lot of us have struggled with or are still struggling with, is the courage to say No. We live in a world where we feel like we owe people our lives, constantly afraid to just simply say No and before we know it, we have resentment towards other people or even the people we love.
I have said this before and I will say this again, that through this blog, I use my pen to inspire people and speak my mind and at times I get ideas from intense conversations I have with people close to my heart, while other times these ideas emanates from the behaviors I observe around me, and lately I have come realize that many people are victims of saying Yes to others and No to themselves, and before they know it, they have lost themselves and when it comes to taking responsibility, they only have others to point fingers at.
A lot of people struggle with having the courage to say No to others and are constantly afraid to just value themselves enough to finally say ‘Yes to me’ , and sometimes it may be because of their backgrounds, perhaps they were raised in homes where they were taught Not to have a Voice, while others are afraid because they believe that the only people who have a right to say No to anything are those with a golden spoon in their mouth.
The truth is we need to teach our selves or better yet learn to just say no, and understand that saying no doesn’t mean you are suddenly a selfish person, it just simply means you are being honest with your feelings and being your genuine self.
Most of our backgrounds taught us that saying No to others means you are being disrespectful to them, and they have forgotten that YOU matter first, the other truth they have forgotten is that firstly, saying No, when deep down you know you are not okay with a decision, makes you liar to your self, and it can make you a passive, and an angry person later in life.
Sometimes people even teach us to say Yes to others and No to themselves in the name of God, and they say it is a godly thing to do, however should a Godly thing include lying to one’s self? of cause not, therefore we need to teach our selves to just man up and be honest with our selves.
One of the things people don’t realize about having the courage to say No is that it is part of self respect and self love, W. Clement Stone once said ‘Have the courage to say No, have the courage face the truth, do the right thing because it is right, these are the magic keys to living life with integrity,’ so being honest enough to say No is not being selfish or being ignorant, it is just simply being respectful to your self as much as being respectful to others.
Do not get me wrong, having the the balls to say No is good, in fact it is important however while having that courage is a good thing for you, it doesn’t make it right all the time. It is only relevant where your heart has no peace in saying Yes.